I cried while making Vegemite toast ….
Some days I really surprise myself. Some days I am the strongest person I know and other days I feel like I am falling into a million little pieces.
Today I went downstairs to make toast and just started crying waiting for it to crisp up. After 5 mins I said “Lauren, pull yourself together, this is ridiculous”
Life has been a constant balancing act lately with shifting pieces all the time. One day I feel like I am settled, the next day I am crying at my toast.
This is something new for me. I have always held it together but this past few months have been some of my toughest. I thought I was prepared, I thought I could do it alone and I thought it would just be sorted so I could continue on. Well clearly that isn’t happening. Life can be a real jerk sometimes and I can be an idiot for not practicing what I preach.
After I finished crying into my toast, I went upstairs, sat infront of my computer and made a decision to get back to my biggest supporter and get my shit sorted.
I’m heading back to my momma for a week in July and in that time will rebalance and sort out all the loose threads.
Pretending it’s all going to sort itself out is naive, I actually have to participate in the process, so I am.
Being away from your number one supporter is hard. I am so thankful I have so many amazing people here who look out for me, I don’t know what I would do without them but sometimes we just need our Momma.
So there is no real insightful message to this blog, just the fact that sometimes we fall apart at the most bizarre moments and they spark us to take action.